Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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