let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
