I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize