They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
