Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
