Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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