do herpes really smell.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
