legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
