I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize