Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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