so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Michael Bay diarrhea
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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