your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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