i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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