hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
