Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot