just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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