I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.