because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
