so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
