i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
