Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
