I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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