he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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