I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize