Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
