I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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