Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.