ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Damn victory sex feels great
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?