Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?

  (310): View more from California

  You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?

  (323): View more from California

  So...no?`

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  (323): Would you feel weird if I asked out ___? (310): You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend? (323): So...no?` http://tfl.nu/oqmx
  Replies (16) Good night (712) Bad night (2166)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.

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  (709): She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship. http://tfl.nu/de5k
  Replies (22) Good night (7113) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but it's kind of a high honor.

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  (308): I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly. (402): but it's kind of a high honor. http://tfl.nu/hn5k
  Replies (30) Good night (1427) Bad night (6085)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.

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  (815): Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites. http://tfl.nu/zd6b
  Replies (27) Good night (1474) Bad night (5190)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

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  (303): she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone http://tfl.nu/1ml1
  Replies (20) Good night (1171) Bad night (6317)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

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  (907): You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you http://tfl.nu/r2n8
  Replies (8) Good night (2637) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"

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  (530): I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting" http://tfl.nu/k1xw
  Replies (7) Good night (2143) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.

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  (513): 4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/69sj
  Replies (11) Good night (2869) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

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  (519): I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub (1-519): I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first. http://tfl.nu/l0a0
  Replies (5) Good night (1713) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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  (202): I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning. http://tfl.nu/sdft
  Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm trying to hide in the table.

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  (973): You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man. (201): I'm trying to hide in the table. http://tfl.nu/7531
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day

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  (419): I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day http://tfl.nu/2i69
  Replies (1) Good night (760) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.

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  (469): The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us. http://tfl.nu/te9o
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (589): View more from

  seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.

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  (589): seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/0cck
  Replies (2) Good night (312) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.

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  (253): You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night. http://tfl.nu/mi7w
  Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (263)

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