She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
