Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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