She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
