It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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