i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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