ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
