Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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