Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
