On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
