my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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