Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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