So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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