yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
