i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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