After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
