I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
