I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
