I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
