i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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