hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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