a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
