I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
