Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
