so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
