The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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