They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
