Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
