One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You left your phone here
Wait...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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