No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
