The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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