it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
