have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
