i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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