Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
