Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
