Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
