Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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