one two three fourrrrnication!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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