I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize