I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
