i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
