Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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