Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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