just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
